We're all psychotic here

smile

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:16:32 GMT

I had a great weekend. My bestie from NY came down to visit me and we had time to catch up and to make plans for the future. I am soooo soooo soooo soooo happy right now. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I think just her being here was enough to charge my batteries for a good while now!

*cheesin*

true friends come limited now days...

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 16:41:34 GMT

Yesterday was a hard day for me not only did I have trouble later on that day, but since my morning class I have had a migrain. YAY!!! *cries on the inside* But going on, when I am about to go into my last class for that day I got a call from a previous roommate, it rang like twice and then my phone died. Ok, so I didn't have my phone with me all day, so the previous roommate started to call my hubbie, and one of my cool bean friends. My friend came up to me after her class let out, and said that my previous roommate called her and that she wanted me to call her back. I said I wouls call her back when I am able to get home a charge my phone. I got home, and charged the phone, then another friend of mine came over to view the apartment cuz she is thinking about moving in!!! So we spent some time talking and making plans and playin devil's advocate to help her along with the whole thinking process. After a little while, she left and I was able to sit down and make a call to the previous roommate. She didn't answer...so I left her IM messages. and she didn't reply. So I left it alone. Ends up she got in contact with one of Cordells friends and asked if she could spend the night there. All in all, the boys and my friend are mad at me cuz, I guess I didn't take her in. I told my mom the story, the whole story and she was like; from what she can recall about the previous roommate. She would understand why I wouldn't want her here. Including since she is such a moocher. But mom said that, if cordell's friend didn't want to keep her that night he could have said, "no". So the only person he can be mad with is himself. My previous roommate could have called her parents and ask them to come and get them. So I don't understand why tempers are being fired towards me. No, means no means no. That is all I am going to say...and frankly they all can kiss my fucking ass!!! No one here is doing anything for me, they're not paying for my schooling, they aren't making me who I am. They're nobody! I love them, but if this is going to keep going on, fuck 'em, I don't need them to survive.

Ummmm...

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 10:57:00 GMT

It is 5:52am and yet I am still not sleep! Cordell is spending the night, but he got shit faced at a party he went to, and is now taking up the whole bed, I think I should have told him to just stay with me for the night, since he was in Philly all day and I missed him. But he needs to have fun also, I am not complaining! but yeah, I am not having such a good time sleeping now days, cuz I am always thinking about Brew and her damn final...I can't wait to get this class over with! She can go rot in hell for all I care. I am kind of thirsty, but what can I do, except get up and get a glass of water. Tomorrow Cordell is going grocery shopping for the apartment and I am excited, cuz we haven't had that much food in the house for a good while. But I am going to go and see if I can go and turn that fucker over, so I can lay down. Peace and chicken grease.

le sigh, le WTF

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 05:10:02 GMT

I am at home right now, and Anndrea is fussing about doing dishes tomorrow! But when it comes down to the nitty griddy mom and dad are the ones making the kitchen dirty. I am not going into detail! But all I am going to say is that, I can't wait to go back home tomorrow! YAY! I hope Anndrea can spend a weekend with me again! I need to talk to mom and dad about that later on!

I don't know...?

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 20:40:22 GMT

There is some major drama going around this school! I am not going to say who it is, or what I know! But all I know is that, some people need to grow the fuck up, I mean people are people, life is life, and a home is going to be a ho me. If no one says anything, no one will know the business around their daily life! As I said, I have had to deal with this before, and trust me I was not happy then and that is why I have distance myself from them in the long run. I can't take drama, I mean what is the point of it, it just causes stress, and headache, heartache, and broken friendships. I wish I still had some of the friendships that I had when I started here at this school, I see people I know; but we don't really talk that much any more. And I am not complaining, I think half of the relationships that I had back then were going to go their separate ways anyways, But still you can't have too many friends. Lets take for instance, Ms. Williams. I love her too death, but yet I am not too sure how she feels about me, we have been through some bad times, and so good times. I want to think that most of it was good times. But I think that she was miserable when she was living with me, and then after she moved out because of a dumbass lying and trying to get back at my boyfriend. But really I can see if she never trusts me again, because lets face it, we have had a lot of bad times, and bad times are the ones that everyone remembers! Every single finger licking time. But it is the same thing that I have been through all of my life. Friends come and go, but best friends are here to stay, and truthfully, I have a best friend but he is always busy and he is getting into his singing career. I mean, I can't have his attention like I did in high school. I am almost 21 years old, and he is almost 23 years old, we both have a love life, and we both are going for our dreams, so if we were meant to be together you know to hang out, catch up on old times, then faith will bring us back together. Until then, I am willing to wait, and go on with my life.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Other than that, I only have one more final which is due next week on Thursday! I hate her with all of my being, I wish she were dead, and/or buried alive!!!! LMAO but yeah, I am going to kill her off in my final. I swear I have never had this much fun with a final project, but I am sure that I am going to have one hell of a week and vacation after I turn that shit in. It will take a bunch of stress off of my plate, and I think that I will not have these really bad bags underneath my eyes. If someone were to look at me right now, they might think I am doing drugs or drinking my life away! I am not doing anything that is out of the normal of a college student. I am not getting enough sleep and I swear, it is catching up to me! I didn't think a week of not sleeping 8 hours a day would make my eyes look this bad. But then it could be that I am not eating as much also because of those diet pills I am taking. They are wonder workers though. I have lost 12 pounds in less than a week. I am happy but yet I still have a long ways to go, I want to get down to a size 11-12 and right now, I am about a 15-16...so I have to lose 3-4 dress sizes. Which is about roughly 30-50 pounds! I can do this, I know I can. I just can't wait that long, I want to lose the weight really quick just like how I put it on, FAST AS HELL!!! But I have to get back to my class, I have a final due right now!

And What?

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 21:36:33 GMT

I don't really know why I am posting, but I have some time during class...but what I was trying to say yesterday was that I am not comfortable getting an apartment with a bunch of guys and not expect people to judge me. And on the other hand, my mother wouldn't like it either. You know the whole christian thing!!! You should not shack up with not only your boyfriend, but a bunch of men also! I was brought up with that, and I will always hold that dearly, you know kind of

It's been a while...

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:49:02 GMT

I can't remember when was the last time I actually wrote in this thing, but anyways, I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place because I want to get out of student housing, but I can't until I have found an apartment and have a stable job and have a stable income. All this won't be until the end of December, and I want to move out at the end of spring! But what has happened is, that my new roomie has been kicked out and she wants to get an apartment as soon as possible. I can't do that, I need time to get the money right ans everything behind it. I can't just jump into this. She is going off of impulse and might find herself in a trap later on. I need advise because, my fiance wants to get an apartment with some friends of ours, but they are all guys. I don't want to get an apartment with a bunch of guys and I be the only female in the bunch. I don't want to look like...easy, because everyone is always judging you. I have a goal in mind, and I know what I want, so I guess I am doing this by myself. I mean I am the only person I can depend on!

work work work

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 01:44:37 GMT

I have so much to do and some days I just can't work under the conditions that I under. I hope I can get into Crystal and Robyn's apartment. I can't be living with Cordell anymore. Including since Bridget is going to be there! I can't live with kids, she has a 5 month old baby! I just can't do it. I told him if I say with him, we keep the room and she gets a bed out in the living room. And it might be a good thing if he buys out the room so the bed out in the living room won't be suspisious. Plus how he has the room, no one else can stay in there unless he keeps the couch and the new kid gets the bed. But the thing is, if i can't get into the apartment, then there will be chaos. I don't need chaos. So yeah, I will be praying to get into the girls apartment.

well it's not all that bad...

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:07:08 GMT

Well, this is the second week of school and the whole tuesday and thursday classes from 8 am to 5 pm isn't all that bad! I like it actually! Because I have Mondays and Wednesdays off! I like it a lot. And it isn't like I am going to school by myself...I have Cordell, Crystal, and now Robyn. Which we are getting along famously. I am glad that whole situation is over and done with. It just shows who you can trust, because Ben knew that Crystal, Cordell and I were just by standers and Cordell was going to tell Robyn, but like a dumbass I told him to stay out of it, and what comes to Ben, Hat, and Stuckey ( I hate to admit) will come to them. And that just back fired in our faces because Ben told everyone that we did it and excluded himself. SUCH A BUTTFUCK! But now that it is over, I am glad that Robyn even had the heart to come and talk to us. But things are gettin gback into place, like they were in the old days, just without Tiffany. Bless her dear heart...with a kid and she knows who it is by. but going on...
I don't know, I am near that time and I am getting really irritated with Cordell, I don't know if it is his horomones or mine...but I have quite an attitude with him and what he says to me or even ask. LOL I hope I don't kill him.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 21:22:36 GMT

You Are an Okay Student

You know how to get by school, but your heart isn't always in it.
Motivation is a problem for you. Maybe you need to study something more exciting!

Are You a Good Student?

Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Intuition

You are:

Multilayered and complex
Inspired and driven to achieve your goals
A visionary with a complete life plan
Intuitive enough to understand difficult problems, ideas, and people

What's Your Personality Cluster?

You Could Maybe Be a Vegetarian

You may think being vegetarian is a great idea, but you don't have all the tools to get started.
Find a local vegetarian group or buy a few vegetarian books.
Even if you don't go completely veggie, you can introduce more vegetarian foods into your diet!

Could You Be a Vegetarian?

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.

You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.

Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities.

You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Your Personality is 21% Addictive

You don't have an addictive personality - at least, not usually.
You can indulge in vices freely, and there's little chance that you'll get hooked.

Do You Have an Addictive Personality?

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.
At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.
And at other times, you are wise like an iris.
And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

You Are 81% Non Conformist

You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate!
No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them!

Are You a Nonconformist?

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.
Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.
People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.
But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

You Are Pretty Logical

You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic
While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good
Keep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area!

How Logical Are You?

le sigh

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 20:52:46 GMT

I have nothing to do andreally nothing to say, I am up here because I have time. Something I don't have when I am in school. Which by the way starts Monday yay a whole fucking week to ourselves. I came home to help my parents move into their new house and loard and behold they aren't moving until the tuesday 2 days after I leave. I look at it, you have a strong back to help you move and yet, you move when your strong back leaves... I wonder about my family sometimes! IT seems that the hubbie doesn't want to talk to me, and that is fine I mean we practically live together and we needed sometime to get away from each other I feel. So Honey if you are reading this "HAVE FUN!" I know I am! I am planning to go out and get shit faced tonight. I hope albert doesn't fall back on my plans like he did earlier. I was suppose to go to the DMV but Mr. Albert doesn't show up and he doesn't answer his fucking cellie! Go Figure. But yeah, I think I should write in my LJ more now that I have to be at the computer more often and this site is a site I check everyday (just don't write in it everyday) so I might make it a habit to start writing in it. *YAY* well I have to go cut my wrist and take pictures and put them on MySpace. So I will be on later hopefully checking some COMMENTS!!!!!

what to do?

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:21:06 GMT

I am so tired and I signed up for classes like last week and it come up on the website that I have only tuesday and thursday classes. from 8am to 5pm! I am not looking forward for that. I guess that I will talk to Griffin about switching me into his class then I will have to change the other class that I have at 2pm. I wasn't looking forward to this at all. If they just kept the registration policy the same I wouldn't be in this fuckin bind. But now I have to pay for what the school has fucked up on. THANK YOU AI fuckin W you know how to make someone's life worst than it already is! Ok...I think I am done ranting about the damn school. I wasn't thinking about transfering to California NE WAYS!!! but yeah, that is just me thinking out loud.but onto better things. I have class in a few and I don't want to go. But then I have to think...if I go I get to see griffins beautiful face and teeth. Ahhhh... the wonders of a beautiful face can cure wonders!!!!!

Meh...

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:19:41 GMT

I found out that my best friend Albert is going to be signed to P.Diddy's label and I am so excited for him. But what I am not looking forward to is... him moving on, we have been best friends since 7th grade and letting him go is going to be hard. He was always there for me in the end, and when we fought we budded heads like rams but we got over it like an obstacle! All I am saying is that we have been throught so much and I can't let that go! He reassures me that he will be the same Albert and that he will keep in touch with me always but I am going into Animation and my fiance is going into Game Art and Design, both jobs require us to travel. Not only that but He will travel more that I will and that means that I won't be able to see him that much if we can't stay together. So I lose either way I turn, I thought that I would love my future both ways I looked at it, it's turning out to be kind of scary, I can only see myself alone in the end. I mean I know Cordell Loves me to death and its the same in reverse, but in the end...He could only see me when he wasn't working on a project, and that's if he lives in the same fucking state or continent as me. I have to go to class right now, but yeah everyone gets me drift...so what would you do?

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 21:53:07 GMT

You Are 0% Homophobic

You're open minded, tolerant, and accepting.
And you're not homophobic in the least :-)

Are You Homophobic?

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 01:00:45 GMT

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person.
In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use.
Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

You Are 52% Addicted to Myspace

Your Myspace addiction factor is: Moderate

You're slowly building a very strong addiction to Myspace. Get out while you still can!

Are You Addicted to Myspace?

Your Summer Anthem is Holiday by Green Day

"Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)
The shame
The ones who died without a name"

Dude, you're harshing everyone's summer mellow.

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

You Will Die at Age 64

You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...
And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

i have no hair...

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:13:38 GMT

I think I have offically pulled out all of my hair. I have no hair...LOL just kidding!!!! But yeah, I am sitting in my room, in bed at 8:12 thinking about goin to bed! CRAZY! I have nothing to do, and I can't go out because mom isn't here. I don't like this...I am going to go insane man! Please let these days fly by so I can go home with my baby!!!! I miss him soooooo much.

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:05:57 GMT

Your Pickup Line Is

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go screw.

The Magical Pick Up Line Generator

Your Girl Parts Are Named:

Clamburger

Girl Parts Name Generator

Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

You Are Smokin' Hot

You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal.
Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally.

Are You Hot?

You Are 34% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're a little addicted to love.
You won't do anything for love, but sometimes you do more than you should.
No one's worth losing your head for - because in the end you'll only lose your heart.
Don't avoid falling in love. Just make sure you don't get too hooked.

Are You Addicted to Love?

umm...

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 02:44:03 GMT

Sitting here tearing out my hair handful by handful and missing the love of my life! I am trying to have fun but my family is seriously pissing me the fuck off. Just hearing their voice calling my name, is annoying, because I know they want me to do something for them. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! The only one I am having fun with is Anndrea my little sister! She doesn't ask me to do a damn thing, and plus she sits in her room most of the day anyway! So what is there to be bothered about? I am annoyed with Babie, which is the damn little dog. She pisses all over the place and then what makes it even worse is that she knows that she is wrong! So I am not so happy right now! I just want to be by myself...but I get no privacy! I swear my mom wants me to like keep the door open at all times. I know this isn't my room, they just kicked me the fuck out. Once I moved into student housing, they let Anndrea have my room, and then made her room an office. I mean what if things didn't work out with school housing? Where would I go, cuz I am sure they wouldn't move Anndrea back into this closet! I don't know...I just don't feel like I belong! Like all that time they wanted me to move out and hope that I never come back! Even so, they could have at least told me...I mean yes it would have hurt a lot to hear that, but in the long run I know what I have to do! But I guess they want me to come back for holidays and stuff, but it is such a hassle...I don't feel like going back and forth. So I just stay home and don't really come home. But that is fine. I just need to chill the fuck out! Cuz when I think like this, it makes me want to start to cut myself again! I can't go back to that. I just can't!!!! I need to lay down... I'll write later.

well...

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:51:04 GMT

I am at home now, and trust me I am not liking it at all! I am bored out of my mind. I am sitting here pulling my hair out and spitting spit bubbles! I deserve better than this! I want to go home and be with my baby! We haven't had a christmas with each other yet. Almost two years and no christmas! That's isn't good!

not what I expected...

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 01:05:08 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, scitzo_baby sent to me...

Twelve lifeizbetablonds drumming

Eleven mylittlemoomins piping

Ten chancrescolexs a-painting

Nine gaye_chans drawing

Eight randomnessprimes a-kissing

Seven ohgodithurts a-singing

Six thislonlyflowers eating

Five ja-a-a-anosaudrons

Four frailtyisgentles

Three computers

Two playing instuments

...and a pooping* in a findingawayout.

look over there...

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:46:50 GMT

I have nothing to say, I am bored as shit and I have a final do tomorrow and I don't even know what I am going to say! Going on, I actually gave a good presentation on Jhonen Vasquez the creator of Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, and Squee...and some other awesome works. It was about 10 minutes long and trust me, I was impressed myself. Even though he is a new generation of art and talent, he has what it takes to get there. Everything isn't going to peaches and cream dammit, the road has plans for all of us, and he isn't even half way yet. I really love his work and if you want to call me a fan girl, go ahead, but I see it as a goal, to be known, he is my extra push to actually get up there and do what I do best which is draw. I want to be able to get onto Vasquez's level and actually see eye to eye!!! And that my friends is a realistic point of view. I can see myself doing this and I want to do this, and yes, I think music is out of the picture...at least for right now. I will do what it takes to get up there.
Onto better things...life is hard and school is a pain in my ass...oh, and for the fuckers that still aren't talking to me, go fuck yourselves because I am tired and I have better things to do than wait around for them. SHIT!!!!

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:18:11 GMT

Your Birthdate: February 20

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move.
It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone.
Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4

You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Life Revolves Around Yourself

There's no chance that you're going to let your guy control you.
You've got your own thing going on - and he's lucky to be a part of it.
And even though he might pressure you to consider his feelings a little more...
He's secretly into how independent you really are.

Does Your World Revolve Around Your Guy?

what to do?

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:16:14 GMT

I am seriously in the thinking mode right now. Cordell was looking up some lightwave shit again, and I was like "why are you always looking for lightwave stuff?" Thinking to myself you won't learn on your own. And he was like, "I am researching into something that I love and want to do, unlike you!" All I could do was sit there in awe, thinking how much that hurt me and that I should have not said anything. I got up and went to the bathroom and sat there for a while and just thought of what I really loved. And I sw it to be music and my drawing. I do'nt want to give up the other for the other, I just can't! I want to be able to do both, but around here you don't have that option, and I am sure as hell ain't going to GEORGE MASON! I have enemies there and I can't afford to run into them and get things stickier than they are here. I was pushed by that bitches mom to go somehwhere better than nova and I did. And yet I think I still have something to prove to the damn heffer. I don't know what I want right now, I am thinking and thinking; but it is leading me to a deeper darker place of trained thought. Like Bruce Lee and his damn water. I don't need this right now, I want to go on as I was until that fucker said something to me. I don't know, maybe I over exaggerated when he said it. But it was something that clicked inside of me, it wasn't something that had time to grow. The only thing that grew was my self conscienceness. I don't know what to expect.

this is totally right

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:26:39 GMT

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Macarena by Los Del Rio

When I dance they call me macarena
And the boys, they say that I'm buena
They all want me, they can't have me
So they all come and dance beside me

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

nothing to do!

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 01:21:27 GMT

I am here in a school lab waiting for Cordell to get out of class yet again! I was looking over my shoulder and I saw BEN! That fucker, I can't stand the sight of him anymore. I wonder if his new roommates are just as forgiving as use when it comes to his nasty hygine? I swear I thought that I was totally messy, leaving clothes on the floor and once in a while a bowl or a cup. Usually with nothing in it, if not then water. But this man, he would eat in the room, leave it there and then let it mold. Me and Cordell would watch the growth of the fucker!!! And yet, BEN didn't care, he just left it there with no problem. He would eat over the fungus and play his computer game over the fungus! He lived with the fungus, and what makes matters worst, is that none..NONE of his roommates liked him. Cordell went into school housing a friend of his, and BEN left the apartment as enemies with Cordell. Because actually he was the cause of BEN leaving. HA, in the end everyone sided with Cordell and shunned BEN. And I guess that he wasn't use to rejection and had to get the hell out. But onto more, important things, Christmas is right around the god damn corner, and truthfully, I am not looking forward to this at all! I don't have the money to keep on doing this, I am having trouble in school with some people and yet even through time it isn't getting better. Even though I tried to talk to her, and even talked to her through MySpace! She just avoids me and everything. I am not trying to get on her good side I just want her to know the truth. THE WHOLE TRUTH. Because of BEN a lie got spread around and I am furious. I can't control my temper when it comes to him, if he wasn't so big, I swear I would kick his ass. But anyway, I have to go and do other things I will update later.

We're all psychotic here

*smile*

true friends come limited now days...

Ummmm...

le sigh, le WTF

I don't know...?

And What?

It's been a while...

work work work

well it's not all that bad...

le sigh

what to do?

Meh...

i have no hair...

umm...

well...

not what I expected...

look over there...

what to do?

this is totally right

nothing to do!

smile